Plugging Energy Drains

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Summer is in full swing here. It's my favorite time of year. Camping, concerts, river rafting, picnics and having friends visit. Life can be awfully good.

But what happens when you become so busy you can't seem to find the time to do the things you want to do? It's a common situation for many. What's worse is you might not even be enjoying many of the activities in which you are involved. Sound familiar?

I find it amazing how people with ADHD can pack their lives full with activities. In a frantic quest for stimulation we go dashing from one meeting to the next. We get involved with this committee or that task. Our weekends are one long string of outings and projects and activities.

Despite being overwhelmed and on the verge of exhaustion, we continually and impulsively say yes to things without thinking. We rush to get things done for everyone else while our own projects and needs sit neglected. We get tired and cranky. We become more forgetful than ever. We begin to complain when we realize we've signed on to do things we don't want to do or don't do well.

Aaargh! We're leaking energy in massive doses! And it leaves us feeling simply drained.

Now, consider for a moment what would happen if you saved that energy for yourself and your own pursuits. What if you directed that energy to your business or family? What could you accomplish? Is it likely you'd have more fun and more time for your own stuff? Would life be calmer?

One: Learn what level of activity works best for you. I believe that people with ADD have an internal barometer that sets the right balance between extremes of activity levels. Pay attention to it. Too much going on and you will be overwhelmed and more forgetful than ever. Too little going on and you'll wind up bored, depressed and floundering. When you've got the right number of things going on at any given time you're energized and focused but not frantic or exhausted.

Two: Accept your need for structure. Despite our natural inclination to resist structure we really need some in our daily lives. Otherwise we slip into flounder mode. Use what I call Velvet Structure: firm enough to keep us on our path, yet pliable enough that we have the flexibility needed to relish in the unexpected.

Three: Create a list of what you do and don't do well. Be clear about situations in which you thrive and can succeed, and those that create grief. For instance, if you can't sit still for more than 15 minutes, then joining a club with long weekly meetings will drive you crazy. If you have a hard time with planning, then chairing a committee with a big project and many deadlines sets you up for failure.

Four: Learn to say 'maybe' and make sure you can follow through before you say yes to a new obligation. This one can be tough and may take practice. It requires you to confront your impulsive behavior straight on.

So, the next time you prepare to open your mouth to commit to something, I suggest you first stop for a moment. Quickly think through the list you've created of what you do and don't do well. Think about what is going on in your life at the moment. Decide if this is the right opportunity for you and the right time to act on it. If you're not sure, buy some time; say you need to think about it before making a commitment and ask the person to get back to you tomorrow. (HINT: If you ask them to get back to you, than you don't have to remember to get back to them.)

Remember your goal in all of this is to rid your life of guilt and to have more time and energy for the things that are most important to you. The result will be a life force full of what brings you joy and satisfaction.

Apply It To Your Life

Where do you spend your time that leaves you feeling drained?

PS. - Trouble Staying Organized? No Problem! Reserve your copy of 'Organized for Life' at the special 'early-bird' price.

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Through ADD coaching, my clients improve their productivity, increase their profits, and take control of their life. Learn more about ADD coaching for business people and other high-functioning adults with ADHD.

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Adult ADD Coach Dana Rayburn's monthly newsletter about living successfully with Attention Deficit Disorder.

Adult ADD Coach Dana Rayburn's monthly newsletter about living successfully with
Attention Deficit Disorder.