All six ADHD Support Scaffoldings in this blog series are key to living a productive, peaceful ADHD life. However, one structure that’s certain to derail you if you ignore it is your ADHD mindset.
A negative ADHD mindset is incredibly destructive. You have to keep it on your radar screen. That ‘I can’t do it’, ‘I’m not good enough’ internal chatter pulls you down and keeps you stuck.
A negative mindset is tricky, too. Even when you’re aware of your negative self-talk it’s hard to control.
But the reality is if you want to live successfully with ADHD you need to create a strong, positive ADHD mindset.
Most people, ADHD or not, must deal with negative self-talk; we aren’t alone here. But ADHD adults seem to end up lugging around more than their share of emotional baggage.
Before you can step into being your most productive, powerful self you must lighten this baggage. Until then you’ll be able to go only so far in managing your ADHD. At some level you’ll remain stuck in chaos and procrastination.
Shifting a Negative ADHD Mindset
One of the first places to start is to work with an ADHD therapist. Living with ADHD takes it’s toll and a therapist who understands ADHD can help you make peace with your challenges. I recommend everyone with ADHD work with a therapist at some point.
(Just to be clear, I am not recommending you do this work with me. I am NOT a psychotherapist. I am an ADHD coach. A simple distinction is that a therapist helps the client understand and heal the past. An ADHD coach helps the client learn the ADHD management skills and strategies to step into the future. They’re both important but the work accomplished with each is rather different.)
Yet even after much therapy that negative ADHD self-talk can still be hanging around and dragging you down.
One step I find helpful is to increase your awareness so you learn to recognize the messages your subconscious slips into your path.
Yet, I’ve found awareness doesn’t go far enough. It doesn’t fully stop your subconscious from repeating those negative thoughts that block your progress.
The true objective is to override that negative self-talk so you’re the one in control.
Until then you’ll find yourself busily going about life, learning new ADHD skills to manage your time and reach your goals when, BAM, your subconscious tosses in another negative thought to block your success.
I’ve seen it over and over with clients and have experienced it myself, as well.
Over the years I’ve found two essential tools to override a negative ADHD mindset. These have become the secret weapons I turn to repeatedly when I find I’m not able to make the progress I intend to make.
- Be Set Free Fast – You may have heard of EFT – Emotional Freedom Technique. Well, Be Set Free Fast is a form of EFT that I find particularly effective in working through specific negative self-talk issues that are keeping me stuck. Developed many years ago by Larry Nims, Ph.D, and offered through money coach Joan Sotkin’s web site, Be Set Free Fast isn’t a replacement for therapy but I’ve found it invaluable for clearing up specific negative ADHD mindset problems quickly and effectively.
- Kelly Howell’s Brain Sync – These audio programs use sound frequencies to drive brain activity – Alpha, Theta, Delta, and Gamma – into high level brain states. With affordable audio programs for all kinds of different needs such as meditation, better focus, improved success, sounder sleep, I use these all the time to improve my ADHD mindset. They were recommended to me by a therapist.
It is so easy to ignore the ADHD mindset piece of the scaffolding; to think that by learning new skills or taking medication you can learn to live more easily with ADHD. But, until you quiet that negative ADHD self-talk and create a positive ADHD mindset you will stay stuck in clutter, procrastination and chaos.