Adults with ADHD should on themselves a lot.
“I should be more organized.”
“I should be able to file these papers.”
“I should be more patient with my kids.”
“I should be on time.”
“I should…. (fill in the blank).”
Yes, shoulding on yourself is very common if you’re living with ADHD. It’s also a sign of backward thinking.
Whenever an ADHD Coaching client uses the word should, alarm bells ring in my head. It’s a sure sign their expectations are unrealistic; that they can wish themselves to be focused, organized and on task like the non-ADHD folks in their world.
People who use the word should are typically comparing themselves to others or attempting to live someone else’s goals, both of which are like oil slicks to someone with Attention Deficit – you’re sure to slip up.
Notice when you should on yourself. Are you living someone else’s reality? Thinking unrealistically that you can magically conform to a non-ADHD world?
Can you think of a more successful way to live with Attention Deficit?