When a client asks, “Should I tell my boss about my ADHD?”, my answer is almost always a resounding “Stop!”
Why? Because you need to take a moment and really think this through. Who you tell about your ADHD is an important decision. This is definitely one place NOT to be impulsive.
Disclosing attention deficit at work can have a big influence on your career and how you’re treated. I recommend you carefully think through who to tell about your ADHD and who not to tell.
[Before we move on, I have to say that I detest having to talk about this. How I wish it were different. But, it’s a reality: perceptions of you will possibly change after they discover you have ADHD. Especially at work.]
Telling your boss you have ADHD can be a gamble. I’ve noticed about half the people who disclose at work mysteriously have performance issues pop up.
Even if they were considered good employees before the disclosure.
Bosses and coworkers may start to see your behavior through an ADHD filter. After the ADHD disclosure, that messy desk and late arrival are cause for reprimand or even become reasons for termination.
As ugly as it is, I’ve even seen some instances where the boss begins to build a case against the employee.
You see, not everyone understands ADHD or wants to take the time or energy to help an employee succeed.
But this isn’t always the reality. A few clients have had exceptional support from their supervisor. They put accommodations into place. Some companies even paid the ADHD coaching fees.
NOTE: An extra thing to consider before you jump. Even if your current boss is supportive, if ADHD is in your employee file, your next supervisor may not look on it so kindly. I’ve seen that happen, too.
If you shouldn’t tell your boss about your ADHD, what should you do? Do you just struggle in silence?
Of course not. Struggling never solves anything.
Focus on learning your ADHD management skills to improve your work performance. Many clients hire me for coaching to do just this. Learn how to be on time, manage conflicting priorities, meet deadlines, organize your desk. Building these skills at work will make your life easier at home, too.
If your ADHD-fueled habits do come up, simply say, “It’s hard for me to keep my desk organized, and I could use some help.” There’s usually no need to bring your diagnosis into it.
Next time you wonder: “Should I tell my boss about my ADHD?” Pause long and hard first. What could be the consequences? What can you try instead? Silence may literally be golden.
Keep reading and learning:
- 4 Main Challenges of ADHD and Remote Working
- Living Successfully with Adult ADHD: Working to Your Strengths
- Episode #14 of the Kick Some ADHD podcast: Build An ADHD-Friendly Working Life
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Very good advice, Dana. I kept it quiet for a long time but when I struggled to manage it on my own it became obvious to a senior manager who then encouraged me to disclose to all my colleagues. Why? She felt things would go much better if I gave them the opportunity to help me instead of belittling me all the time. It took me a while but I eventually did what she suggested. What happened? It destroyed my career at that company for all the reasons Dana mentioned. It was horrible. I said I’d never do it again but in my next job I felt greater trust and it was a healthy environment so I mentioned it one day. Again, it was a mistake. And I work for a company that works exclusively with people with disabilities. My work there has been eroding since. It just colors the whole relationship. I’ll never do it again unless it’s part of my platform to help others. My advice? Don’t.
Oh Michael, I am so sorry you’ve experienced this. It’s not right, and it often happens. I hope you’re getting the help you need to manage your ADHD. Warmly, Dana
Im a teacher and about three years ago I got diagnosed with adhd at almost 50 years old. Last year I struggled really bad with following bosses instructions remembering things and focus. Also I kept going to my boss for help with an autistic student. She did try to help but it wasn’t working. In the meeting I blew up and cried. I shut down and could not express myself. Now my boss is watching me and I feel like she looking at all my little mistakes. I thought about telling them I have adhd but I read your message above and am not gonna do it
Hi Sherry, I’m sad to hear you’re struggling. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep and eating an ADHD friendly diet. Also, could menopause be playing a role? It makes ADHD worse. Blessings to you, Dana