Today let’s talk about one of the lesser-known ADHD symptoms. I call it Unintended ADHD intensity. When we seem angry or upset though we aren’t.
Unaware of the strong force of our energy and thoughts, we don’t mean to come off so strong. But, we do. We blast our internal beam of intensity directly on an unsuspecting person.
Here’s how Unintended ADHD Intensity often unfolds.
You’re explaining something to someone; simply trying to make a point. Yet, your conversation companion reacts as though you’re angry.
You’re clueless. Unprepared for their strong reaction. Suddenly you’re snared in a prickly situation.
Being too intense has been one of my ADHD struggles. In fact, my Favorite Husband thinks it’s my most disturbing personality trait.
I’m married to a calm, gentle soul. He’s rarely riled. He thinks before he speaks and usually has control over his emotions. Even so, when blasted with the full force of my intensity he recoils and fires back.
My passion for life drew him to me in the first place. My Unintended Intensity is the downside of that passion.
Over the years, I’ve learned a couple of tricks to soften my intensity. I’d like to share those with you today.
How To Control Your Unintended ADHD Intensity
Building awareness is your first step in softening your intensity. (Actually, awareness is your best friend for controlling all your ADHD symptoms.)
Tune in. Notice how it feels to be you when you’re at risk of being too intense. Get clear on what you’re doing that fuels your intensity.
Most of the time my nature is easy-going. But I get very intense when I’m hyper-focused on a task or racing towards a deadline. Interrupt me at your own risk.
I’ve learned how my intensity feels. It’s kind of a tightness around my eyes. A pressure in my brain. Not a headache, but kind of a narrowing of focus. Awareness lets me pause for an instant and take a deep breath. Usually, this is all the gap I need to roll with an interruption.
When do you get too intense? How does it feel? Being more aware of your patterns will give you a better chance of lowering your internal power.
With time and practice, you can build your awareness muscle. Getting control over your Unintended ADHD Intensity is a lozenge to soothe the friction in your relationships. You CAN learn to live easier with ADHD.