The holidays and ADHD can be a painful combination.
As it is, we’re overwhelmed by the day-to-day on our regular days. Then here comes December! Bringing a cartload of extra tasks and activities along with shorter days and colder temperatures.
And what’s worse yet… we expect ourselves to juggle it all with style and good cheer.
It’s torture. At least for me and many of my ADHD coaching clients. In September, when Christmas music starts in the stores a deep sense of dread settles in our stomachs.
It doesn’t seem to matter how organized we try to be or how many lists we make. Holidays and ADHD can be hard.
Other than huddling in a fetal position in a corner, what can you do?
Here’s a novel idea. What if you stopped trying to organize more stuff? What if you got more clear instead? What if you went about the whole holiday season in an easier, more ADHD-friendly way?
Let me share with you how I work with my ADHD coaching clients to make the holidays easier.
The Holidays and ADHD – 6 Tips to Save Your Sanity
1. Your first step is to get clear on how you want the holidays to be. I have my clients come up with three words to describe what they want. Usually, they pick words like: peaceful, calm, fun, relaxed, and meaningful. I’ve never yet had anyone say they want stress, overwhelm, debt, and guilt.
2. Cut out the extra stuff. All those things you feel you should do. Use the words you picked in step #1 as your guide. Decide what you need to let go of to make your holidays ADHD-friendly. Sending Christmas cards? Going to boring parties? Traveling to your Aunt May’s? Yes, it can be difficult to let go of the shoulds. But, if you have ADHD, you already have a reputation for marching to a different drummer. Live it!
3. Center your holidays on the people and things that create an ADHD-friendly Christmas. The one you want to have. What’s fun? What’s easy? Be aware of what you want and focus on how to create it. We have neighborhood grog parties and go caroling. Dust off the jigsaw puzzles and dominoes. Go skiing and watch movies.
4. Make it about being instead of giving and getting. Is Christmas an exercise in spending money no one has to give gifts to people who don’t need anything? Can you give fewer individual gifts or a larger family gift you’ll all enjoy? Do things together instead? Be aware of how your ADHD impulse to spend too much feels.
5. Remember what goes up must come down. Putting up lots of decorations means having to take down lots of decorations. Keep decorating simple. Create a tradition around taking down the decorations. We undecorate on New Year’s Day while the football games are on.
6. Pay attention to your emotional temperature. Try not to get caught up in unrealistic expectations of how the holidays should be. Families are messy. People get complicated. Life doesn’t always turn out the way you expect. I have a handful of tricks to keep me calm and positive. Certain music. Walks outside. Dark chocolate.
The holidays and ADHD don’t have to be hard or painful. You can do this. Follow these 6 steps to focus and simplify and create the kind of holiday you want.
Want other tips on how to reduce stress during your holidays (and every day)? Check out: