Hey Moms with ADHD – if you’ve ever compared yourself to others, this one’s for you!
Remember ‘back in the day’ when the only people you could compare yourself to were people you actually knew and a few celebrities you watched on the big and small screen?
Now? Wow. The number of people to compare yourself to is overwhelming.
There are thousands of thousands of moms on social media who seem to excel in everything they do. They live in perfectly organized homes, host elaborate kid’s birthday parties with homemade gift bags, and calmly cart their kids to and fro.
And what is the natural thing to do when observing the lives of people who don’t have ADHD?
We compare ourselves and our lives to what we see. And let’s face, most of us with ADHD feel like we fall short.
Take Sara for example. A private ADHD coaching client, she groaned on a call, “I keep comparing myself to people without ADHD. Why do I struggle with things everyone else handles so easily?”
Sara is smart and creative. Along with a great career, she has a husband, two kids, and a dog. She also was recently diagnosed with Inattentive Type ADHD.
“My friends can stay organized. They have parties without breaking a sweat,” Sara continued. “I can barely get dinner on the table every night. We haven’t entertained for ages.”
“Plus, there’s the extra time I spend at work finishing work my colleagues do in a snap. You wouldn’t believe the effort it takes just to turn my client notes in on time.”
Sara’s frustrations are common among people with ADHD. We compare ourselves with other people and simply don’t match up.
I know how frustrating it is to see other people easily handling simple things that trip us up.
Over the last year, as we’ve all been dealing with the pandemic, I’ve watched people sharing the creative projects they completed, homes they’ve remodeled, new products they’ve launched…everything they’ve accomplished during the downtime.
Me? I’ve been happy just getting the basic things done. Keeping the ADHD Success Club running. Getting enough sleep and puttering in my garden. More elaborate projects would’ve been too much.
It doesn’t matter what other people can do. I have to be realistic about what I can do with my brand of ADHD.
Here’s the deal…
You MUST STOP COMPARING YOURSELF to others without ADHD.
Especially about the things you struggle with. It’s not an apples to apples comparison. You’ll never match up. The truth about ADHD is that basic tasks of life are harder for you. Overwhelming. And take longer.
So, what do you do? Give up?
NO! Of course not! Give up and you’ll live at the mercy of your ADHD forever.
So what can you do? You can learn how to stop comparing yourself to people without ADHD. Ready? Here is your…
Stop Comparing Yourself Coaching Plan
Comparing yourself to other people takes up brain space and energy that you can’t afford to lose. Unless you’re one of the rare people who can immediately tap into that comparison and use it to motivate you, learning how to stop the comparisons will free up your brain processing to help you in other areas of your life.
Step 1: Become aware when you’re comparing yourself to other people. Notice how comparisons discourage and disappoint you. Until you notice this, you can’t stop.
Step 2: Accept that the nature of ADHD makes some things harder to do. Success stems from creating realistic solutions that work for you; not wallowing in problems.
Step 3: Get specific about which tasks cause you the most trouble. When you know your true challenges you can face them.
Step 4: Devise creative ways to more easily do the things that challenge you.
This plan will help reduce the shame that goes hand-in-hand with ADHD. Life will get easier. Comparisons will be fewer; confidence will be greater.
Your ADHD will always be part of the picture, of course. But, as you learn to stop comparing yourself to non-ADHD folks, it will lose much of its power.
And if you don’t have a community of other people with ADHD, you need one. People who understand what it’s like to be you. One of the amazing things about my ADHD Success Club is the supportive ADHD community. If you’re tired of struggling with ADHD and want affordable, top-notch ADHD life skills coaching in a supportive environment. I encourage you to check out the ADHD Success Club today. Click here to learn more.
Now it’s your turn.
What happens when you compare yourself to others who don’t have ADHD? What can you do to stop? Post below!
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